It’s been reported that New York City is home to about 800 thousand different languages. Manhattan alone boasts about 24 thousand different restaurants to chose from. There are also the bars, parks, museums and clubs. And then, there’s the sexy stuff to sift through. The options are, in a sense, endless. And unless you’re already accustomed to organizing yourself around thousands of recreational options, they may appear overwhelming, as well. The paradox is choice is real, and can lead to a lot of anxiety around what to do. So in the interests of making things easier on you, we’ve put together our very own guide to the city (focused mostly on Midtown East). Because you don’t want to miss out on what America’s number one pleasure provider can bestow.
Things To Do, Bad Boys Edition
For those looking to make the most of what New York City has to offer…
Get A Nuru Massage
Sight seeing in New York City can be exhausting, which is why it’s important to incorporate a leisurely activity into your trip. Think about heading over to All American Body Rub for their world famous Nuru Massage. What is a Nuru Massage? It is an amazing body slide experience. Whether you’re in the market for an erotic couples’ massage, or a solo adventure, this place has it all. From fetish massage to prostate play, this is an experience you don’t want to miss. Like toys? They have those too. Take a chance and experience something new in this posh and private environment.
Check Out A Gentleman’s Club
With New York having been dubbed “the city that never sleeps,” it comes as no surprise that there is a wealth of strip clubs to enjoy within its municipality. But choosing the right one can be somewhat of a murky task. The most famous are typically the most crowded, and no one wants to spend money on a sweaty and subpar experience. Think about heading to Lido Room. Their female entertainers hail from all over the world. Marketed as an “exclusive and nontraditional club,” the Lido Room cast an air of elegance over an industry often associated with grudge. Unlike other spots, there is no stage and no private rooms. Instead, attendees are encouraged to hang out in the main lounge, chatting with dancers and other members. That is, of course, they make it over to the “lap dance room.” Stop by, and enjoy.
Head To A Rooftop Bar
Located inside the Ink Hotel, The press lounge is a swanky bar with amazing 360 degree views of the city and Hudson River. Also, you can count on seeing some sexy ladies sipping on a martini. It’s located in midtown west, which means great views of the city and the people who populate it.
Stop By A Sex Party
Swing clubs and sex parties are big part of adult entertainment. Though, they do present a particular problem in that single men are often not allowed in. Traveling alone in the city means it can be hard to land a date and negotiate access. Those who find themselves in that situation should think about heading to Labyrinth, a rare gem in the swing club scene that has agreed to open its doors to single men. It’s got group playrooms, semi-private lounge areas, play stations, smoking spaces and a BYOB bar. Another option is NFSW; which is a hybrid of swing and BDSM. It’s a more laid back, no pressure environment where you can watch or get involved. Most of the people at NFSW are younger but it is a nice upscale crowd
Find A “Special” Companion
There are a lot of different ways to land yourself some company for the evening. The Internet can, of course, expedite the entire process. But, if you find yourself looking for a more casual means to landing an escort, you’ve got to position yourself accordingly. Certain spots attract certain company. Check out the Russian Vodka Room. Just a stone throw’s away from Midtown East, the joint has great food, live music, hundreds of different kinds of vodka to chose from, and by most accounts, a lot of ladies looking to lend a single gentleman their hand, and maybe something more. If you want to be more discrete; go to Rub Maps or twitter to find models available in the area.
See The Museum Of Sex
Take a trip to New York City’s only sex-specific museum. Wonder through its galleries designated to sex culture throughout the ages. See what a three-way animal orgy looks like. Hop around on a breast-inspired bounce house. Horn yourself up and head down to the gift shop for some prize mementos. Cum rags, sex toys and lube are all up for grabs.
Bryant Park Hotel
This designer luxury hotel is located right in the heart of the city, with amazing views and a reputation to boot. It’s also got a sushi joint and cellar bar in case you get a little glutinous late at night. But maybe the most exciting offer the hotel provides are its “intimacy kits.” The first is a bit basic. Two condoms and a pack of lube. The second, also known as the “intimix kit,” is a bit more elaborate. It’s got blindfolds, silky hand ties, a one-ounce bottle of lubricant, two condoms, a feather tickler and a mini vibrator. Bring a friend from home or find someone in the city. Be sure to play, massage and fool around.
hings To Do, Good Boys Edition
For those who need a break from the nightly debauchery….
Take A City Harbor Cruise
Sometimes, the most impressive sites are best seen from afar. New York City provides tourists the opportunity of seeing some of the city’s most iconic features from the water. Harbor cruises take riders one a trip to enjoy views of the Statue of Liberty, One World Trade Center, The Chrysler Building, and more. It provides the opportunity to take in some of the city staples without having to wait on line or fight through the crowd. Besides, there’s no better way to pump you up for a night out in New York City than taking in an uninterrupted view of the skyline. A lot goes on under this simple silhouette.
Central Park
Central Park is, of course, one of America’s most iconic landmarks. Spanning across 840 acres, the park is host to three full service restaurants, a handful of concession stands, statues, lakes, memorials, grassy fields and even a zoo. It’s one of the few areas of the city where you can feel a sense of calm, and if your lucky, find some privacy. And if that’s not enough of a sell, just remember, there have been over 300 movies filmed in Central Park, making it one of the most filmed locations in the world. So head over, and become a part of pop culture.
Chinatown
Perhaps the most perfect example of New York City’s ability to host a culture within a culture. Sure, the streets may get a bit crowded and the smell of fish will likely find you, but if that isn’t an authentic New York City experience, we don’t know what is. Cheap gastronomy is everywhere here. Head to Bassanova Ramen for some good noodles. Or Sing Kee for the flash-fried flounder. The neighborhood is littered with hidden gems like these. Pop on over, and get your authentic Asian experience underway.
Getting Around
There are a lot of things to see in New York City, and you can’t always get from one to the other by foot. But for all the chaos the city inspires, there is a relatively organized system of public transit. The buses and trains can take you to mostly anywhere you’d want to get to. The sky tram and ferry system (on 34th and FDR) offer a little more adventure to your commute. The Ferry is a cool experience and can get you to some of the hot spots in Brooklyn and Astoria (Queens). Of course, if you want a more private means of getting around, you can always hop in a cab. Uber, Lyft and other services are everywhere.